Going Once…Going Twice…Gone?
by OTP and MoonStarDutchess
Summary: Maes cons Roy, Riza, and a few others into doing a military auction, auctioning themselves off as slaves for the day. Unfortunately, Maes might not get as much charity money as he hoped but gain something far better.


**Going Once…Going Twice…Gone? **

**Author: MoonStarDutchess and OTP **

**Royai Day Oneshot**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Fullmetal Alchemist and gain no profit whatsoever from this fiction. If we did own it Roy and Riza would get a spin off.  
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**AN: It's been a long time since we've written anything together since both of us have been extremely busy. Here is a Royai fiction for you guys. Hope you enjoy it! **

**Note: Takes place before Roy and Riza are promoted to Colonel and First Lieutenant. Though Rebecca was stationed out east, we stuck her in here for the hell of it since we both love the character so much. **

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**Going Once…Going Twice…Gone?**

Riza Hawkeye had a horrible feeling as she made her way into the huge auditorium that was on the grounds behind Central City Headquarters. As she walked further and further toward the front row of seats, the sense of foreboding increased exponentially.

"I have a bad feeling about this, Sir," she said to Roy as they walked to their seats. Riza sat down beside Rebecca, her body tense and her mind prepared for anything that could happen . . . she hoped.

"Everything will be fine Second Lieutenant. You worry a bit too much," Roy said and gave her a comforting grin.

As people filed in, the Fuehrer made his way onto the stage. Maes was walking beside him, chatting happily as if Bradley was his relative instead of the president of the country.

"With the way Major Hughes is talking to the fuehrer, you'd think they were brothers," Rebecca commented.

Riza nodded in agreement, Rebecca almost mentioning her exact thoughts.

"If the Major is involved I hate to think about what is going on," Rebecca stated.

Maes stepped up to the podium and beamed at the crowd who grew silent when they saw his actions. "You have all been called here today for a very important reason. We have a special event coming up later on this week and we're in need of a few volunteers. Do I have any takers?"

"What in the hell are we supposed to be volunteering for exactly!" Rebecca yelled.

Maes adjusted his glasses. "Well, that would ruin the surprise if I told. Now wouldn't it?"

"You aren't going to get any takers unless you give us a hint," a man from the crowd yelled. "At least tell us what it is for? Is it a dangerous mission?"

"Did I mention that there would be prizes involved if you volunteered? Not to mention it's a charity event for the All Central Orphanage for Abandoned Children and Teens," he said grinning like the lunatic that he was. He was definitely going to enjoy this.

A few people raised their hands and came upon the stage. Maes shot a glare at Roy who made a point to ignore it. The last charity event he went to he was in a kissing booth all day. Kissing a 90-year-old woman who slipped him tongue was the last straw for him and all things charity. He'd just donate a bunch of cash and be done with it. "Havoc, Breda, Fuery, go volunteer. That's an order," Roy said.

Grumbling, they all raised their hands and Roy smirked, thinking that he had dodged the bullet. Then Maes spoke again. "I almost forgot to mention that there's a high possibility that if you don't volunteer," He gazed intently at Roy. "Some of you will have the chance of a lifetime to see my family album!" And with that, he whipped out a wad of pictures.

Roy cursed and stood from his chair. "Come on Second Lieutenant," he said.

"No thank you Sir," Riza replied.

"But the pictures," he said. "I mean, do you really want exposed to those?"

"I'm not around him enough to take that threat to heart. Besides, I won't hesitate to shoot them from his hands. I'm not close friends with him after all."

Roy stuck his hands in his pockets and made his way up onto the stage, cursing under his breath.

Maes beamed. "Welcome aboard Lieutenant Colonel! I'm glad you could join us. "He draped an arm around his best friend's shoulders and examined the rest of the volunteers.

"Blackmailing bastard," Roy muttered.

"We seem to be missing something." He thought for a moment then grinned. "I know! There aren't enough women up here!" he turned to the crowd once again. "Come on ladies, this is a once in a lifetime chance," he pleaded, giving them his best impression of puppy dog eyes that he could manage.

"Why does gender even matter in this?" Maria, who was sitting on the other side of Rebecca, muttered.

"Riza, you should get up there with Mustang," Rebecca said. "Didn't you promise to stand by him through everything?"

"Yes, everything that caused bodily harm," Riza replied.

Rebecca's hands trailed down to both Riza and Maria's thighs and she pinched them as hard as she could, causing them both to jump from their seats and glare at her. Maes pounced on them immediately.

"All Right! We have some more volunteers. Second Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye and Second Lieutenant Maria Ross! Perfect. You two will do wonderfully!" he exclaimed happily as the two trudged up to the stage, all the while glaring at Rebecca who had a smug triumphant grin on her face as she mouthed good luck to them.

Riza moved to stand beside Roy. "Why are you friends with him again?"

"It's too late to exchange him. He wasn't like this when I first met him, believe it or not," Roy said.

"I don't know what to believe anymore, Sir," she replied.

Maes did a quick head count of the bunch and nodded, satisfied. "All right then, now that I have all the volunteers I need, everyone else is free to go! All of those on the stage will come with me to the main conference room for details," he said with a smile. They waited for a few minutes as the auditorium cleared out and then Maes told them to follow him.

They made their way to the conference room and they all sat down at the table, the fuehrer entering with them. He gave a short speech on how proud he was of the volunteers and how it would be noted in their record, before leaving. Maes grinned at them all and sat down at the end of the table.

He remained silent for a few moments before speaking. "It's time to tell you exactly what you will be doing on Friday of this week," he cleared his throat dramatically. "You will all be a part of the Military Auction."

"We'll be like the ones presenting the items?" Maria inquired.

He flinched. "Right, of course. What I mean to say is that you will be the auctioned items," he braced himself for the worst.

Riza slowly stood. "Excuse me," she said, and walked out of the room. They heard her scream, "I knew something like this would happen today! Damn it! I knew it!" She quietly made her way back into the room and sat down beside Roy, no one daring to mention her outburst. "If injuring you wasn't considered insubordination and battery, Sir, you'd be in the hospital."

Roy chuckled quietly.

He laughed nervously. "Now now don't be like that. It wasn't my idea to get you up there."

"No, but it was your idea to blackmail, and take volunteers you knew weren't really volunteering," Riza retorted. "Yeah, she's right!" Maria said.

"Well, uh, you know about that...I didn't mean any of it! Don't hurt me! I have a wife and kid at home!" he pleaded, backing into a corner as far away from the woman as possible. "Besides, it's really for a good cause and it will only be for one day."

Riza sighed. "Fine, but never rope me into anything like this ever again."

"Just get to the details Maes," Roy said. "We don't have all day and I have a date tonight."

"As usual," Riza muttered.

Roy turned to her and gazed at her quizzically. Usually Riza was a lot quieter. This incident really brought the smart ass out of her. He had to admit, he found it quite attractive. Of course, he'd always found her attractive but this side was intriguing. He would have asked her out a long time ago but he didn't think she was interested.

Maes slid back into his seat. "Of course. Here is the agenda. You will first be dressed up for the auction backstage so you will be presentable. Then, you will go out and people will bid on you. The person who bids the highest on you will get "possession" of you for the entire day. The guidelines here are that they cannot in anyway make you commit a crime, force themselves upon you, or anything else that's inappropriate. You are pretty much their servant for the day so to speak."

"You have got to be kidding me?" Maria said.

"Well, that won't be much different than the job I do every single day anyway," Riza said. "I do the same things at the office and charity gets nothing for that."

"That's not funny Lieutenant," Roy said.

"Wasn't meant to be, Sir," she retorted.

Before Roy could respond, Havoc spoke.

"I'm against it. Everyone knows that the Lieutenant Colonel will win the prize."

Everyone else nodded in agreement.

Maes looked around in confusion." Ummm, what prize?"

"You said there would be a prize," Breda said. "Did you lie about that?"

"Well of course not! You will all get prizes. You will receive the gift of satisfaction in helping others," he said grinning.

"Don't you realize that we have lives we have to live? Things to do? We can't just give up a day to be someone's slave. Besides, can't you get donations some other way?" Maria commented.

"Don't be so selfish," Riza said suddenly, causing all eyes to turn to her with shock. "A day of our time isn't much. No, not much at all. Besides, if things turn out badly Major Hughes will take FULL responsibility I take it? Yes?" She turned her hazel glare at Maes, causing dread to flood through him. He could tell by the tone and look in her eyes that the second lieutenant on the other side of the room had something planned for him if things turned out unpleasantly.

He gulped in fear. "Of course." He quickly jumped up and put a smile back on his face, although it was a bit forced. "Well, you've all been briefed so my job's done here. See you Friday!" he said with a small wave and dashed out the door. A few seconds later he popped his head back in. "I almost forgot," he huffed. "You all need to be backstage this Friday by 1300 hours with formal clothing. Okay? Okay. Later!" He then left again, wanting to get as far away from Riza as possible.

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**That Friday…**

Roy adjusted his tie in the mirror then straightened out the suit he was wearing so that all the hems were straight. Though he hated the auction idea, it was pretty much in the bag that he'd raise a lot of money. There was a bet going on around headquarters about which person would earn the most and of course, he was the one people picked.

Maes stood in the doorway and took in his best friend's appearance. The women would be going wild over him as usual. Maes loathed admitting that he envied Roy's looks a bit. He had movie actor good looks that would have come in handy for him. "You clean up well Roy. So how much do you think you're gonna get?" he asked, walking to stand beside him.

"Don't know. The highest bid someone guessed was 5,000 Cenz," he replied. "What do you think?

Maes scratched his chin. "I don't know. I think Riza might get the highest if you ask me. You should see what she's wearing." Maes glanced at Roy to see if he would take the bait. He knew his friend was very attached to his Lieutenant and wanted much more than just a professional relationship with her. He could tell because Roy looked at Riza differently than he did everyone else.

"Everyone would be too afraid to bet on her. I should go see how she is doing though," he said, casually walking out as if he wasn't curious at all.

Maes grinned in triumph and followed him.

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Roy didn't see Maes sneaking behind him as he made his way to the place he knew Riza was dressing, or from what Maes spoke, had already dressed. He knocked on the door and Riza opened it slightly. "Sir, it's you! Um…Have you seen Maria?"

Roy blinked. "No, I haven't. Is something wrong?"

Riza grabbed his collar and pulled him inside, the door closing and leaving Maes with nothing to watch. He sighed and made his way to the stage, disappointed that he didn't get to see Roy's reaction when he saw Riza.

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Riza turned her back toward Roy and revealed that her dress wasn't zipped all the way up, revealing everything from her lower back up to her neckline. "I had to readjust my dress. Could you zip it the rest of the way for me?"

Roy reached forward and slowly dragged the zipper up her back, brushing her skin with his hand delicately, causing her to stiffen slightly. She never realized his ungloved hands were so soft.

"Thank you," she said with a smile then turned around, revealing the front of the dress to him. It was a deep, red, off the shoulder gown. It clung to her curves tightly before flaring out at her knees and extending down to the floor. The neckline was cut in a daring, yet decent, V cut that teased his eyes. She reminded him of one of those women that modeled on the absinthe ads.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was just so damned beautiful standing there like that in front of him. Her exotic eyes coupled with a smile were enough to stop any man in his tracks. Damn her for being so attractive. Before he realized what he was doing, he moved forward and gently wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close to his body.

Riza was stunned at the move, but didn't pull away, instead, opting to rest her arms on the ones that were wrapped around her waist. She stared into his handsome face and felt her knees grow weaker and weaker, as if his onyx eyes were draining the energy from her.

"I'd drain my entire bank account if I could bet on you," Roy said, and covered her lips with his. Her hands fist in his hair and pulled his head closer to hers. She returned the kiss as soon as he initiated the action, moving her lips against his roughly, not caring if her lipstick was smudged or if he got the red shade on his own lips. Her body was aching for more from him, but the door suddenly opened, and they quickly pulled away. Maria was standing there with her eyes widened in shock.

"Um…Major Hughes…on stage…auction…ready…" she stuttered, trying to process what she saw.

"Maria…you…" Riza started. "This…"

"I saw nothing," Maria said suddenly, recovering from her shock. "I just came to get you."

She turned and walked away, a small smile playing on her lips. It was about time those two kissed or did something. Every time she was around them, the sexual tension was so thick a chain saw wouldn't cut through it. It was great that they might finally relieve that sexual aura that drifted around them.

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"So what now?" Roy asked.

"What do you mean?" Riza questioned.

"I mean that I don't want anyone betting on my woman," he said, possessively.

"Just because I kissed you makes me your woman? Last time I checked I didn't belong to anyone."

Roy pulled her back into his arms and kicked the door closed with his foot. "You don't want to be?" he questioned, lowering his lips to kiss the side of her neck.

Riza groaned slightly. "I didn't say that either," she said, her voice husky as his lips traced down her neck then across the soft skin of her bare shoulder.

"I don't want men betting on you," he said, moving away and raising his head so that he could look at her face before he moved closer and kissed her lips softly. "I'll donate enough money to the charity to make up for what they miss with us."

"Are you suggesting that we…" he kissed her again, "skip out on the auction."

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting," Roy said, and kissed her yet again, before sliding his hands down her body to rest on her hips tightly.

"Maes won't be happy about us leaving."

"And you care?" Roy questioned.

"No, not really," she said, moving to bite the corner of his jaw, leaving a slight trace of red lipstick. She moved her thumb to his lips and wiped off the traces that were on them.

"I'm pretty positive Maes won't mind Riza. He's been aggravating me to find a wife."

"Wife? Isn't that awfully sudden?"

"It will happen when I'm fuehrer. Besides, we've known each other since we were children and … and I do love you, you know."

Riza smiled. "I love you too. Yes, when you are fuehrer you'll have a wife."

"Well then, convincing Maes of why we skipped out won't be difficult."

"Let's go then, I want to get out of this dress."

"And I want to help you out of that dress," he said," and into some sheets."

Riza quirked an eyebrow. "Sheets?"

Roy grinned. "Black sheets. Silk ones."

"Sounds nice," she said, as they made their way out of the dressing room, down the hall and out of the auditorium.

"Hey! Wait! Where are the two of you…," Maria started when she saw them leaving but stopped when the heavy door slammed behind them, "going," she finished.

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Maria bit her lip debating whether to tell Maes the truth about what had just happened to Roy and Riza. To hell with it, she'd tell him the truth since he had been trying for the past few years to get them together. She walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. "Sir, I have something to tell you."

Maes turned to her frowning slightly as he looked behind her. "Hey, weren't you supposed to get Roy and Riza?"

She scratched the back of her neck nervously. "Yeah, that's what I was going to tell you. They kind of ran off." She waited for the immanent outburst. "Together... All lovey-dovey like."

He stood silently for a while staring at her then he burst into tears. "I-I'm so proud! They finally decided to take my advice and indulge in their love for each other! What a happy moment and yet…" he sniffled, his smile quickly becoming a frown. "And yet so sssaaaddddddd!" he wailed.

Maria frantically tried to find some way to calm the man down. This was not going the way she had pictured it. "Why are you sad about this? I mean, haven't you been trying to get them together for years now?"

He blew into a hanky and looked up at her with teary eyes. "I'm happy about that, but…but they left before I could get any charity money off of them and they were the ones that would have earned the big bucks. I have failed all the poor little orphan children.

Maria decided there was nothing she could do. She sighed and left the poor man to wallow in his sorrows while she dealt with the auction.

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**AN: We hope you enjoyed it and reviews are much appreciated. **


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